Eli Roth’s “Ice Cream Man” is Exactly What You’d Expect (Complimentary)
Depending on your taste in horror, the title of this review will either be a warning against or an invitation to see Eli Roth’s latest directorial outing, Ice Cream Man. In this long-awaited reboot to the 1995 cult classic, Ari Millen stars as a maniacal purveyor of summery treats that happen to contain a deadly secret. But this time, it’s the parents who should be afraid.
Flipping the original concept on its head, Millen’s Ice Cream Man is a depraved version of the Pied Piper of Hamlin not only stealing the town’s children, but turning them into homicidal zombies. The film is a blood-splattered extravaganza of practical effects and cheeky kills with a bare-bones plot that gets the job done. Roth is not trying to reinvent the wheel or elevate the story in any way. He’s simply creating a gruesome summer B-movie where carnage comes to the school playground.
The tiny town of [insert your idyllic suburb here] is enjoying a pleasant summer day when an ice cream truck rolls into view. Decked out with ominous symbols on the menu a strangely sentient cartoon cone, the Ice Cream Man doles out treats with a sinister smile as innocent children clamor for more. But later that night, the truck reappears, blasting its ominous siren song. Any child who has digested his wakes up with a sudden urge to murder their parents. With quaint black and white cartoons in mind, they gruesomely tear the adults apart using any weapons they can find. Squirt guns filled with gasoline, gardening shears, and dental drills, even a fishtank becomes an instrument of parricide. And that’s not to mention the massacre that follows when these ice cream-smeared killers go to school the next day.
Roth is clearly having a ball with these elementary-themed murder vignettes. Every new parent has gone through a phase of obsessively reappraising their surroundings, looking for anything that could potentially harm their young child. Roth clearly has parenting on his mind and seems to be doing the opposite, surveying childhood paraphernalia and imaging the most grisly outcomes. Like a child gleefully making snow angels in a puddle of blood—which we do get to see in the film—he’s relishing this juxtaposition of childhood innocence and merciless gore.
This elementary school sequence is clearly the heart of the film and the special effects do not disappoint. Adults are crushed by heavy seesaws, cut in half by tricycle wheels, and impaled by the eyepiece of a microscope. And of course, when weapons are hard to find, the menacing Ice Cream Man is ready with a makeshift tool the kids can use to cut off the top of their principal’s head and gleefully scoop out his brains. It’s a savage smorgasbord of gruesome kills and well worth the price of admission—if you’re into that kind of thing.
The only kids immune from this murderous possession are those who haven’t eaten the tainted treats. Jared (Charlie Zeltzer) has declined due to lactose intolerance while Mia (Kiori Mirza Waldman) has simply vomited hers up. Along with Tommy (Shiloh O’Reilly), they fight their way through swarming crowds of their former friends who are trying to feed them the tainted ice cream. Jared’s older sister Lizzie (Sarah Abbott) jumps into the mix along with would-be boyfriend Chris (Dylan Hawco), involved in the story because he has a truck. These young actors carry the film with surprisingly strong performances though they’re occasionally hamstrung by try-hard gags and overly edgy attempts at humor.
Roth makes a brief appearance as Jared’s hokey father, in a role that seems specifically designed to produce a jaw-dropping special effect. Appearing alongside Thanksgiving star Karen Cliche, he’s obviously having fun and his presence doesn’t feel like an intrusion but a winking nod to his body of work. Benjamin Byron Davis makes a brief, but welcome appearance in a heavy-handed info dump. He gives the sparse plot a bit of direction that pushes us through to the final act. But Millen is the strange film’s shining star as the overtly sinister Ice Cream Man. Silently murderous, he waits in the shadows, dishing out ice cream with a toothy grin.
It’s probably pointless to criticize a movie like Ice Cream Man for a few moments of off-color humor. After all, pushing buttons is part of the appeal. But prominent use of the r-word and an ED joke feel like cheap attempts at edginess that illicit eye rolls rather than laughs. A supernatural explanation for the Ice Cream Man’s powers also feels slightly distasteful. Without spoiling too much, the plot hinges on child sexual abuse with generational trauma thrown in for good measure. At first glance, this seems to be a fitting explanation, twisting our understanding of the story’s true villain. But if we pull on this thread, uncomfortable questions arise about children being punished for the actions of adults, even after they’ve become adults themselves. Perhaps this is putting too much on the shoulders of a summer B-movie, but that’s why you don’t throw around topics like CSA without fully thinking through the ramifications.
Distastefulness aside, Ice Cream Man is exactly what you’d expect it to be. Building on his love for and knowledge of the best shlocky horror films, it’s a taught and streamlined gorefest that bursts at the seams with inventive kills. The plot kind of falls apart in the final act, but Roth leaves us with an admirably cynical conclusion. If you can stomach an undercurrent of edgelord humor, Ice Cream Man is a fun way to beat the summer heat.
Jenn Adams is a writer and podcaster from Nashville, TN. Find her on social media @jennferatu.